hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
