Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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