So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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