Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
