dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
