There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
