everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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