lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
