Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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