there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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