We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
MIDGETS
????
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
