I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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