I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize