fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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