Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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