Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
