I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
