bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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