she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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