If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
