I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
