You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
