I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
