I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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