we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
