can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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