I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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