No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
