Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm like, not good at living.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
