he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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