hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
