I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
