Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The best revenge is premature balding
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
