Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

(703): View more from Virginia

oh

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(646): View more from New York

So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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(432): View more from Texas

Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.

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(406): View more from Montana

I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye

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