yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
