My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize