My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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