He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
