Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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