Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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