Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
