So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
NoShamevember. You game?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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