In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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