Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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