I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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