btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
