whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
