I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
