need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
