I seem to have left my pride at pride
Banned from zoo.
Again?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
