I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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