But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
