you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
