Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
