Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
