What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
