How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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