I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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