it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's shark week go big or go home
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize