If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
