Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
honey bunches of taint.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
