I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When are your genitals available?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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